Down to a Song
by the meaty grape
Summary: Details of the burners breakup in song. Warning: masochistic. Julie/Mike
1. Beautiful Boyz

_Those, those beautiful boys  
Those, those beautiful boys_

_Born illegitimately_  
_To a whore, most likely_  
_He became an orphan_  
_Oh what a lovely orphan he was_  
_Sent to the reformatory_  
_Ten years old, was his first glory_  
_Got caught stealing from a nun_  
_Now his love story had begun_

He knew he had no parents; that he was an orphan. Everyone else knew it too. He hated that. He didn't need their pity and their low expectations of him. He knew was strong and he would prove it. He picked fights in the reformatory on purpose to show case his potential to Kane scouts. He didn't go unnoticed, and was quickly put into a boot camp to become a Deluxe soldier. He rose to the top with ease; defeating all his so called 'competition'. He learned the hard way 'easy come, easy go' when he discovered the truth about Abraham Kane. He threw it all away: his title, his status, and most importantly his naivety. He would never be fooled to that degree again. Better yet he would never follow again. It was his time to lead.

_Thirty years he spent wandering_  
_A devil's child with dove wings_  
_He went to prison_  
_In every country he set foot in_  
_Oh how he loved prison_  
_How awfully lovely was prison_

Those next thirty years of his life were the most anxious, beautiful, desperate, torturous, and adrenaline filled times he'd ever experienced. Against his better judgment, he'd unknowingly teamed up with his greatest enemy's daughter and three other young ambitious men. They made an amazing team, fighting for the natural rights of all people. They were good at what they did…on a small scale. Eventually they grew tired of the price they had to pay for small victories. The team's constant disputes eventually lost them their most valuable possession, their faith. They were never the same again, and it was only a matter of time until they all went their separate ways. He never stopped fighting. Team or no team he would defeat Kane, but alone he stood with no outside helping hand. He was constantly held under custody and planning escapes from the most protected prisons in the country. At one point he stopped planning escapes and finally let himself stop to evaluate his life so far._  
_

_All those beautiful boys_  
_Pimps and queens and criminal queers_  
_All those beautiful boys_  
_Tattoos of ships and tattoos of tears_

He thought of it all. Mostly about all the villains he faced and how much he wished he could have stopped them. This usually resulted in bloody fists against the prison walls and bars. No matter how hard he had tried to fight it; he had stayed at the bottom; a hero in the shadows that only the rats could praise, and that no one else could hear or even think to look for. Slowly his bitterness consumed him, and he lost hope.

_His greatest love was executed_  
_The pure romance was undisputed_  
_Angelic hoodlums and holy ones_  
_Angelic hoodlums and holy ones_

Years passed and he was set free; from prison at least. His thoughts still plagued him and it showed in his every movement. His first piece of news from the outside world killed the last remaining sympathizing emotion left in him. Julie, his one and only romance was killed in revolutionary riot in one of the newer cities around Detroit. It was the first time he'd cried since he'd discovered what his late mother… dedicated herself to. His Julie was gone. They had never been together as a couple. He had never allowed himself to hold each other back from what was really important. That didn't mean that he loved her any less. The pure fact that someone like her existed was enough to keep himself in check. When he learned she had passed, he wept at his old reasoning. 'Some important cause' he had to stay away from her.

_All those beautiful boys_  
_Pimps and queens and criminal queers_  
_All those beautiful boys_  
_Tattoos of ships and tattoos of tears_

At her funeral he inevitably encountered his old team members. At first he didn't want to confront them. He looked terrible, and he knew that if they spoke to him it would only give his mind more material to torment himself with. He chose to stay alone for the ceremony, silently asking Julie for forgiveness.

_All those beautiful boys_  
_Pimps and queens and criminal queers_  
_All those beautiful boys_  
_Tattoos of ships and tattoos of tears_

It wasn't until the funeral ended that the old Burners approached their former weary leader. From up close he saw the signs of time on their faces as well. Their wrinkles, although not considered attractive, told stories that filled his heart with warmth once more. Dutch and Chuck had the tired, happy faces of fatherhood and Texas had the laugh lines of a dignified street racer. He couldn't help but think of what kind of face he had now; one of a sad and bitter convict? Probably. He didn't care anymore. For a moment it was like the first time they had all met. He forgot all dark things of the past and once more let himself open up and rely on the incredible friendship he had with these beautiful boys.

_All those beautiful boys_  
_Beautiful boys..._  
_All those beautiful boys_  
_Beautiful boys..._

_Those beautiful boys..._

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**Thanks for reading! I had sooooo much fun writing this ^_^ and I didn't think I would have. There's a first for everything hehe. If you want the song name; I'd be happy to give it to you its from one of my favorite artists. Its called beautiful boyz, by CocoRosie . I love them soo much! Tell me what you think! Corny? Not corny? :)**

**p.s. if there are mistakes, I'm sorry I hate proofreading more than 3 times and something always gets away :T**


	2. Honey or Tar

I am Julie Kane. _Kane,_ do you understand the implications that come with that name? No? I'll tell you what it means. It means that I am the _spawn_ of Abraham Kane; I refuse to use the word daughter. Abraham Kane, supreme dictator of modern Detroit. Thousands, maybe even millions have been subjected to injury, torture, or death because of him, my…father. I've seen some—a fraction maybe of their faces; tired, worn, hopeless faces that look up at me in disgust and occasionally from those that can manage anything else, pity. I treasure those small doses of pity more than any "comforting" gesture from _him._

What does this all mean for me? It means that I've had to redeem myself before I was even born. It means that I have to sneak out of the city for the majority of everyday fighting against my own father in _secret._ I don't know why I haven't completely disowned him. It makes me feel pathetic to hide from him like everyone else but then again what I'm doing is pathetic.

My only reason is to stay connected to him is to stay on the inside of Deluxe and help my friends as much as possible. My friends, my family, the Burners.

Julie Kane or not I'm still human and I'm still a 17 year old girl, so when I work with the most honorable, skilled, …beautiful….(sorry) boy I've ever met; I can't help that my neurons burst into flames…

Adoring Mike Chilton is the most _inconvenient_ obstacle for me to work with but I have to learn to live with my secret. What's one more to add to the pile? I can't tell you how many times I've had to slap myself mentally because of Mike and how many times Claire has literally.

It's always been difficult for me to deal with my emotions towards Mike; especially when he purposefully gets himself into danger; which is 75% of the time. One particular day, I slipped; just a tiny unnoticeable slip; to most people that is. Mike couldn't get over the fact that I had protected him and put myself in danger to save him. I wasn't going to apologize of course; he was the one who decided to take a hoard of Kane Bots on his own while heading towards the Motocity doom jump.

I _had_ to stop him and get 9 lives in front of Mutt at the perfect time to blast the bots, keep Mike from starting the jump without our cars crashing into each other. Not easy to do. I could still hear the screeching brakes and the bots exploding in my ears.

He was sulking not so silently at the other end of the garage and I stayed away watching him discreetly. Why was he so stupid? Why couldn't he just admit he was wrong? And why am I feeling bad? I did the right thing. Watching him doesn't help; it only makes my thoughts cloudy and incomprehensible. I could practically hear music; a song I heard on my genome radio back in Deluxe.

_I undressed you with my eyes I have  
Maybe even raped you  
In a dark and eerie corner of my mind  
I tucked you there  
And touched you in a dream last night  
Pushed you aside when you entered  
My thoughts at the wrong time  
I have sat up upon your lap and  
Saddled my thighs around your hips like ropes  
I rode you on a chair and in the shower  
And all the while I clung heavy to your back  
My desire deeply harnessed in your spine  
While I squeezed you like a tree trunk  
You may have been one  
Sexless and comfort in your mind  
Even barer than a child's  
I'm riding recklessly through a thick and humid  
Jungle growing anxious with the deep and primal  
Yearning that stirs  
Deeply pulsing up toward the surface  
Like sap rising or honey or tar_

The lyrics along with the tune dissipated and I stopped imagining. I straightened up from leaning on 9 lives, composed a confident facial expression and marched across the garage where Mike stood. My boot heel echoes sounded like reassuring voices saying, "Go on, do it already." and I even took a deliberate loud step to make the voices louder, more powerful. I focused my gaze on Mike's back facing me. His jacket was off and his white T-shirt was wrinkled and dirty; his hair was frayed and oily.

I finally reached him, took his wiry bicep in my hand and swiveled him towards me. I purposefully deprived myself enough time to look at his expression; it would only discourage me at this point. My lips smashed onto his immediately as I gripped a handful of his dirty shirt. The kiss had three stages: violent, then savage, then it ended passionately gentle.

I waited a few seconds before I opened my eyes to let myself just feel him and not worry about what came next. His arms were underneath mine which kept me close to his chest. His hands, most likely would leave stains on my on my clothes, but didn't matter.

Then something stirred deep inside me and it meandered through my veins. It swam inside me, searching for a motive. It could've been courage, the courage to stay, look him in the face and forget all the rest. Instead I withdrew from his arms, his embrace, his hands and said,

"I have to go."

_…Like sap rising or honey or tar._

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**Thanks for reading and a big thanks to those who commented :D! Compliments are feather ruffling...if that makes sense :/ **

**This chapter kind of connects to the first chapter. It relates to how Mike and Julie were never together but maybe just MAYBE something like this happened. hehe.**

**Anyway, so this particular chapter I think is a long shot because maybe no one understands the sentiment but me, because I LOVE Mike and Julie. (serious) and this is very personal song to me. If you liked it great! I you didn't I understand. **

**Oh and lastly props to all Mike/Julie fanfic authors you make me happy!**


	3. While you wait for the others

_While you wait for the others  
To make it all worthwhile_

Only the two of us are left. We've been deprived our two Js. First Julie stopped coming down from Deluxe for no reason (Every time I ask Mike about her, he puts up a brick wall and refuses to answer), then Jacob had to be hospitalized. It wasn't the same once they were gone. No one was around to keep Dutch and Texas from fighting all day and there was no one to keep us busy with crazy food conquests. I wasn't surprised when Tex and Dutch finally decided quit. Mike though was in shock and once that wore off he was in denial. "Once Jacob gets better they'll all come back. I know they will." He told me, but he never did get better and when he passed I thought of it as an omen.

_All your useless pretentions  
Are weighing on my time_

I'm starting to question my time here too. Mike is more stubborn than heroic now and living in an empty dirty garage isn't all that it's cracked up to be. I don't know how much more can take.

_You could beg for forgiveness  
As long as you like  
Or just wait out the evening  
You'll always ask me why  
Yes you'll only bleed me dry  
So I'll ask you kindly to make your way  
And what was there  
The perfect cleft_

He'll always apologizes and says everything is going to change. Things will go okay for a while, and we'll actually make progress on some of our missions, but then he'll have me working days on end on impenetrable security codes. He'll say, "C'mon Chuckles, we just need this one and we're through." I don't sleep much anymore. My eyes always hurt from staring at screens all day and my voice is permanently raspy from screaming; do to Mikey's crazy driving.

_We all fall through _

Nothing ever goes right long enough to be happy.

_While you wait on the answers  
That I'll pretend to find_

I don't even try to do a good job anymore; Mike is so tired nowadays I don't even think he notices. I can't bring myself to start new hopeless mission.

_Keeping up with emotions  
Still occupies our time_

We never had one big serious fight in the old days, and now we fight all the time. You'd think we were worst enemies the way we spit our arguments at each other. This is not a team anymore. I don't know what it is but I'm tired; I'm just tired.

_You could hope for substance  
As long as you like  
Or just wait out the evening  
You'll always ask me why  
Yes you'll only bleed me dry  
I'll ask you kindly to make your way_

What still surprises me are Mike's eyes. Their small glimmer never dies, but I know better than to hope anymore. I brought up quitting today; just giving up, throwing in the towel. He said it was too soon to quit, and I walked away. How much can a friend give when he's got nothing left? A letter. "I'm sorry Mikey, I can't do this anymore. My life is passing me by and I can't let it go for you bro. I thought I could and I probably can... but I won't. I'll always love you bro, I hope you do the same. –Chuckles."

_And what was left_  
_The perfect cleft_  
_We all fall through_

_And all we want_

I know all he wanted was to make change; we all did.

_And what was there  
And what was there  
And what was there_

But we couldn't be the change. We could only start it. That much Mike Chilton can take credit for. I only hope he realizes it.

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**Thank you for reading and leaving lovely comments! I decided to expand on this as a chapter/song fic. I don't know if thats too weird :T **

**So this was Chuck's P.O.V. I still have more chapters planned ahead with of course the other Burners! Yay? I hope so. I don't own any of these songs of course or anything Motorcity...I feel like I waited to long to say that, but at least its in here somewhere...**

**P.s. I know it's really sad but thats how I started it and I'll try to lighten up in upcoming chapters! Ok, let me know what you think! I always appreciate reviews :))))**


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